Health

My mother rejected me after I got pregnant at form two!

Written by Nyachae Brian on September 20, 2024

Janet loves a gospel song by William Yilima titled Ee Mungu(Oh God). The Swahili artist goes on to describe how his soul yearns for God, urging the Almighty to be with him and talk to his heart. Janet soul-heartedly identifies with the lyrics of this song

The song reminds her of a devastating experience she went through in 2017 when she became pregnant while in form two. She was in a girl’s boarding school. The parents were terribly openly disappointed with her and continuously stigmatized her. She contemplated suicide

Her mother refused to help her nurse the infant. Nobody gave her even financial support forcing her to drop out of school. She started engaging in menial jobs to enable her take care of the baby

Janet further explains how it was hard to clothe or feed the baby. She lost her self-esteem. The mother refused absolutely to facilitate her get back to school

She admits that she made a mistake getting pregnant while in school, however, finds the reactions of the parents out of proportion. Anytime Yilima’s song plays, it reminds her of that lowest moment in her life that saw her never complete basic education

This was narrated in the evening drive show after 10PM. I gave opportunity to listeners to react, majority being adults and family people. These were their reactions:

Salome from Kisii

A good parent when your child gets pregnant, you should support her till delivery. After delivery let her nurse the child for some months before going back to school. You should still support her education to secure a solid future for both of them. However, the decision to go back to school should entirely come from her

Obori from Nyamira

That was like an accident to Janet. If the child is willing to go back to school, don’t dessert her. The disappointment is normal considering the hard economic times, however, as a parent never give up on your child

Josephine from Kisii

As a parent you should nurse the infant and let the child go back to school. You should appreciate she never committed abortion.

Carol from Nyamira

Even you as a mother you had your share of temptations as a teenager. You should be able to appreciate the challenging moment your child is going through and support her fully. Take care of the grandchildren, they will be the ones supporting you in future. Such children are always a blessing. However if your teenager gets pregnant for the second time outside wedlock, you have a right to send her packing

Dickson from Kisii

Kuteleza sio kwanguka (Sliding is not falling). The mother should have considered whether the daughter is still interested in education or pursuing a technical training. If yes, she ought to have fully supported her. Janet should forgive her

Omoigwa from Nyamira

As parents we deny ourselves even food to pay school fees. When you sacrifice all that for your daughter only to end up pregnant, it is a terrible disappointment as a mother. Such a daughter needs to be left on her own with the infant to learn a lesson. Yes the mother made a mistake, but Janet also failed the mother terribly. However for me I can’t nurse an infant for such a person. It is until she learns a lesson that is when I can take her back to school, when the baby is of a reasonable age

Anna from Kisii

We need to sympathize with the teenager. She could have committed abortion or even die while giving birth. As a mother you can help your daughter nurse the baby.

My daughter got pregnant at the age of 14. She was not able to even hold or sleep with the baby. I terribly cried. I warned her that should she become pregnant again while at home then she would face terrible consequences. I supported her, she went back to school, and her child is now going to sit in for form four national exams.

We can’t denounce our children just because they got pregnant. Mothers kindly sit down with your daughters and have discussions around matters sexuality. We also need to monitor the behaviors of our daughters and regulate their movements.

Joseph from Kisii

It’s not the wish of your child to be pregnant. You should admonish her but not to levels of sending her to despair. Mothers should also encourage expectant teenagers to give birth instead of procuring abortion.

I know of an incident where a certain teenager got pregnant while in form one, the parents supported her till she delivered and went back to school. Today she is in university and her child is in grade one and very bright

Abusing our teenagers whether verbally or physically when they get expectant leads to frustrations leading to suicides and some even dumping the infants. Mothers try taking care of that grandchild while showing love to your daughter

Teacher Alice from Kisii

Guidance and counselling from at home is very critical especially when your child faces challenges such as teenage pregnancy. Your child should never feel the family is giving up on her. Give her peace, love and support at home. Encourage her to complete her studies. Avoid humiliating her before her siblings and peers. What if she was raped?

Ereso from Kisii

Many problems emerge when there is no peace at home. The mother may be willing to show love and support to the expectant teenager but faces hostility from the husband. Men always blame the wives when the daughters get pregnant outside wedlock. The mother gets depressed to the point of even siding with the father.

Some mothers are also beneficiaries of gifts from their daughters’ lovers and when unexpected pregnancy comes in, they find themselves in a dilemma. Such moments require deep prayers and counselling. It may chance that was the only child your daughter would be able to give birth to

Dominic Ogega from Kisii

As responsible parents, once our teenagers have found themselves with unexpected pregnancies, we should accept them, show them parental love and properly guide them. Such moments if not well handled can lead to unwise decisions like suicides, abortions, early marriages and even terrible after-regrets to us parents when the lives of those teenagers get utterly ruined.

Erick from Nyamira

Parents try to provide for the needs of your children especially daughters. Some end up with teenage pregnancies when they go to seek help for needs unmet by parents. Some teenagers become rude during such moments causing parents especially fathers to be hostile. Let us understand this generation and give them the necessary love and support especially during adolescence. Despite the hard economic times, in the event of teenage pregnancy, accept and cater for the child since it is also your blood.

The bottom-line while it is important to instill a sense of motherhood responsibility to your daughter when she gets pregnant, you need to do it measurably to avoid stigma. Both she and the infant should be given the necessary love and support as well as guidance to secure their future.